Bram Stoker’s birthday!

I love vampires.

No, not sparkly emo teens:

Where’s Van Helsing when you need him?

I’m talking about VAMPIRES:

The face of evil is not covered in glitter, it’s dripping with BLOOD!

And there is no one — I’m sorry, Anne Rice fans and Chelsea Quinn Yarbo fans and Richard Matheson fans and Steve Niles fans — there is NO ONE who has ever written a vampire story as brilliant as the one that launched the genre into our cultural consciousness, the man who invented the King of Vampires, the genius that is Bram Stoker.

Okay, he really only had that one book. I mean, he wrote plenty of others, but they were either sloppily written or outrageously racist or both. So he really only managed the one good book.

But what a book!

They don’t design book covers like they used to.

So I was thrilled to discover that today the Google Doodle is celebrating Stoker’s 165th birthday!

See? You can attain immortality without having to drink any blood.

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